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Thursday, June 30, 2016
Relationship Sours : "Ego"
Before I start today’s blog, let me
clear that I am no relationship expert, on the contrary I am a failure in
relationship maintenance. However I am experienced..... so as they say....
"mistakes increase your experience and experience decrease your mistakes"
Lets start it like :
To be able to truly love yourself and
to truly be able to love someone else, you must drop the ego. This is
absolutely essential to finding an amazing relationship, but it’s equally
critical to maintaining and continually improving a relationship once you’re
already in it.
Nothing will kill a relationship (even
the best of relationships) more quickly than ego. Lets sample these :
1.Resist The Temptation To Defend
Yourself: Think about the number of times you’ve fought with a significant
other, and whenever things get a little heated you start to defend yourself.
All you hear is you being attacked, and you immediately go into “defending
yourself” mode. Do you know that when you defend yourself in a fight, what’s
really happening is your ego is defending itself.
It also means that you’ve stopped
listening to the other person. If someone tells you that they don’t like
the way you’ve been acting lately, why not hear them out instead of defending
yourself? It will almost always create a MUCH better outcome.
2.To Love Yourself And Someone Else
Completely You Must Separate The Ego: In order to truly love someone, you must
separate your ego from yourself. This is also true if you want to be able to
totally love yourself. Now, I know that in a perfect world, we would never be
ego-driven. This is not a perfect world of course, so let’s get real. We are
all ego-driven to some extent or another, so let’s acknowledge it and embrace
that we need to separate the ego to cultivate and maintain a truly amazing
relationship with someone.
3.Your Ego Can Ruin Any Conversation:
The truth is that no matter how much you prepare, plan and hope for a good
conversation with your significant other, your ego is the one thing that will
consistently ruin any conversation you’re about to have if you let it.
Let’s say your significant other is
frustrated with you in one way or another and really needs to express something
about that to you. How do you respond? If you let your ego get involved and you
defend yourself, it means that you’re not listening to them.
In order to really listen to somebody,
it’s uncomfortable. Sometimes your significant other has things that are
really bothering them about which they want to talk to you, but which you would
rather not hear. To maintain a great relationship, however, you can’t let your
ego keep you from really listening.
This is a topic that we will go much
deeper into another day.
So the next time you see your ego
getting involved in your relationship, get rid of it! If you find yourself
defending yourself or not allowing you to really listen, then you need to take
a step back. Listen carefully to what’s really being said, and use it to create
the most amazing relationship.
**(Inspired from David Wygant and personal attributes)**
Coming up..... another killer.... Anger
in my next blog.... so watch out !!!!